It s probably not a lizard
by That-One-Girl-Behind-You
Summary: Family fic/kid fic With a second baby on its way, Tony has to deal with his betrayed seven years old while dealing with the fact that some things just won t be the way he wants them to.


**IMPORTANT: THIS DRABBLE IS A SEQUEL, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY READ THE REAL STORY FIRST (Baby, we´re a natural disaster, it´s in my profile)**

Hello, dears

We´re having a baby!

* * *

**It´s probably not a lizard...**

"So... What is it?" Thor asks. They're sitting at a bar, and Tony can't shake the feeling of awkwardness, so he takes another swig of his beer. If neither Rhodey nor Brucie can come here to listen to him then he'll have to let it out with his brother in law.

"Your brother's a bastard"

"Tell me something new" The blond answers with a smile. "What happened now?"

"He's pregnant again" Tony knows he should have a bit more tact, drop it in a different setting, but he doesn't care anymore. Thor's beer drops to the bar and he turns to him with mouth agape, and Tony decides to move on to the _real_ issue. "He won't let me call it Jarvis if it's a boy"

Whatever Thor might have been about to say gets stuck in his throat and crushed into a roaring laugh that brings all the other patrons' attention to them.

"Is that all?"

"What's wrong with Jarvis?!" Tony turns fully to him, offended.

"Nothing, nothing" he shakes his head and pats him in the back. "It's just that... well, you should've saved it if you were going to use it for something this big."

"...saved it?"

"Well, I'd judge anyone that tried to call their kid IOS or Android, so..."

"But Jarvis is not just an operative system, it's different! Jarvis is a person!"

"Well, we know that. The kids that are going to beat the shit out of your kid at school don't."

"What do you even know about bullies?"

The blond rolls his eyes. "We're Thortilla and Hockypoki Borson, man. I buffed up because I had to, and Loki became a mischievous bastard for the same reason"

Tony groans and lies his head down on the bar.

"I really wanted to, though"

Thor pats him again, this time soft enough to feel apologetic.

"I know. Jarvis is important for you, and Loki loves him as well..." He sighs "I don't know what to tell you"

"Tell me I'm pretty, that always makes me feel better" Tony mutters and smiles a bit when it makes Thor laugh again. He sighs. "Well, I guess we should go back"

"We should"

He pays for the drinks, and soon enough they're walking back through poorly lit streets and Tony doesn't really want to get to his apartment.

"Why not Howard, though?"

"Huh?" He heard perfectly well, but he asks anyway, in hopes Thor will back down.

"Why not name it after your dad?" Thor seems a bit uncomfortable, but Tony doesn't blame him. He knows he's not exactly easy to deal with when it comes to his family, and even though his relationship with his father has gotten considerably better since he got married... Well, there are things there that just won't go away. Thor deserves the truth anyways, so he smiles.

"That's what I intended to do but it was apparently considered too stupid" he shrugs and sighs again despite being aware that he sounds like a lovesick teenager. "Jarvis raised me, man. After my mother died he'd sit with me for hours. He made me eat, made me sleep, he brought Rhodey in whenever I locked myself in my room. He was the one that went looking for me when I ran away when I was fourteen, and he gave me the Mother of all Lectures as he drove me back. Maybe he's not blood, but..."

"But he's family." Thor completes. "Like I wouldn't know."

* * *

That's the last time it gets mentioned. Just a week after Loki comes up with Segel if it's another girl and Eric if it's a boy and eventually he shrugs it off because Loki's the one that's going to be carrying it around and having to deal with all the bullshit, he can name it.

Eric is not as good as Jarvis, but... Well, no one is as good as Jarvis either.

* * *

Loki gets bigger and bigger and Hel gets all silent and sullen.

Sure, the dark, pint sized silhouette looming around in the corners of the apartment is an endearing sight, but things get a little tense when she starts coming back from school with scrapped knees and scratches and report cards. Loki gives up on breaching the subject with her after the third time she sits there while he waits for her to talk or look at him for hours, and Tony takes it upon himself to deal with it.

"You know it's not the end of the world, don't you?" He asks one particular afternoon at the park. Hel doesn't look up from her ice cream, and he finds it in equal parts worrying and endearing. "It's like... Having a puppy"

"I don't want a puppy, we already have Fen" she mutters. "It's my dad's fault" and she sounds so genuinely offended that he can't help but to smile, thankful that she still doesn't see him.

"It's a bit my fault, too... I mean, we filled the application together" Hel looks up at this, with the betrayal written clearly across her face.

"What would you need another kid for?"

Tony knows this is delicate, he knows he can't laugh. And he tries. Really. It comes out anyway.

"I don't need another kid, Hel." He starts once he gets it under control. "You don't _need _babies. They just... Send them to you, and you decide if you want to keep them or not. It's a choice, not a need."

Her face lifts with hope. "You mean we can not have it?"

"We could, technically. But your dad and I want to have it."

"Why? Babies are disgusting and noisy and ugly."

"You were a baby too." He counters. "And honestly, I doubt your dad could produce anything ugly, I think it's part of his demon deal."

"I was not disgusting or noisy."

"Hon, _all_ babies are disgusting and noisy. It goes away." He ruffles her long black hair and pulls her a bit closer. "And they turn out fine, you turned out perfect."

"Then why do you want another one?"

He shrugs. "When your dad told me you were coming I was... Very scared. But having you was great and fun and I don't regret it a bit." He pulls the girl into his lap and kisses her frown. "And this time we have you and it will be even better than last time."

"Thrud said my dad won't pay attention to me anymore." Hel mutters, looking straight ahead. She sounds calm and uninterested enough that Tony only catches the slight tremble in her voice because he's heard it a thousand times before during thunderstorms, and he rolls his eyes because of _course_ Thrud said it. The fucking kid is barely five but she's already showing she's got both of her parents' lack of tact.

"Interesting."

"What?" Hel turns slightly on his lap and he makes a show of rubbing his chin and frowning.

"I don't recall Thrud having any brothers or sisters."

"... She said she saw it in a tv show."

"But she doesn't know for sure, does she?"

Hel frowns, but she shakes her head anyway.

"Well, I couldn't tell either, I never had to share my mom or dad." He starts, and pretends to think again. "Let's see... Do we know _anyone_ with a brother or a sister? Hmm..."

"My dad and my uncle Thor." Hel rolls her eyes. She knows he's teasing her.

He smiles. "Exactly. Now tell me, which one do you think is your grandma's favorite? Or your grandpa's? Are they nicer or meaner to any of them?"

The girl seems genuinely taken aback as she considers the question, and she looks up as if she's had a sudden epiphany.

"They're both their favorites." She mutters, like she's found meaning of the Universe. "My dad pretends he doesn't like my grandpa very much but he always sits by him when they come over, and my uncle Thor is always whining because my granny tells him to cut his hair but he always lets her play with it and braid it"

Huh... The kid is observant. He files the detail to deal with later and smiles again.

"You see? Now tell me, if your grandma and grandpa can love both your dad and your uncle the same, why couldn't we do the same with you and the new... Thing?"

At this, her bright green eyes drop again and it's a picture he´s seen far too many times in Loki´s face. He doesn't like it.

"What if the new baby's better than me?"

"Hey. Look at me." He cups her face in his hands until she looks up. "No one, _no one_ is better than you. Ok? They might be better at some things and worse at others, but no one will ever be better than you. You're perfect." He tells her, and her eyes widen at the solemnity of his voice but she eventually nods and that's all he cares about.

* * *

That night he stands in silence on the threshold of Hel's bedroom, watching Loki hold the teary-cheeked sleeping girl to his chest, and it all feels a bit surreal, as it always does when he's reminded that he has a family now.

Loki's eyes are a bit red rimmed too, but he can fix that as well, so he doesn't worry.

He helps him settle Hel down without jostling her too much, and leads him back to the bedroom.

* * *

Loki goes into labor while he's in a meeting with the directive board at the other side of the city.

_'It came early, see you at the hospital.' _

He _thinks_ he mutters something like 'baby' and 'husband' before leaving, but he couldn't care less as he climbs into the car and slams on the gas pedal. When he gets out of the building garage the streets are white with snow and he wants to kill a man.

He knows Loki and Hel are not alone, Anansi had been there just this morning when he left for the meeting, but by the time he's reached the hospital it's been hours and he's already considered ditching the car and running in several occasions.

Hel and Anansi are sitting on the waiting room when he walks in, both looking at their respective hands of cards in deep concentration.

"Are you teaching my kid how to play poker?" He arches an eyebrow.

"I'm in the process of losing another ten dollars to your kid." Anansi corrects him, and places his cards face down on the small coffee table. "Took you long enough."

"Aren't you at least a bit shaken up?" He asks, annoyed. The fucking thing wasn't supposed to happen for another month at least, he'd have fainted in the scene.

"Not really... I mean, at first I thought he was joking."

"What?!"

"Well, Loki's good enough to fake water breaking and he still has to get back at me for the stripper thing, it's an understandable mistake."

"When did you know?"

"When he tried to strangle me."

"Sounds like him." He crouches next to Hel. "How are you kiddo?"

"I'm fine." She answers. "My dad was screaming a lot when we got here, but my uncle Nansi said he's just angry at him for not believing him."

"He's right. You know how your dad gets." He lies, grateful that Anansi didn't just plain tell her her dad was in agony.

Hel laughs and he turns to Anansi again.

"Have they told you anything?"

"They came in a while ago, said it had already started and stuff."

"Great. He's going to murder me."

"Nah, I don't think so" Anansi's got a weird look in his eyes and all Tony can think is _'What are these bastards planning now?_' But he knows asking is useless, so he doesn't, and instead takes a seat next to the other two.

Thor texts him to ask how's everything going, and Natasha to tell him she and Clint will be here tomorrow. He's just about to call Rhodey when a nurse comes into the room and asks for the Stark-Borson family.

He climbs to his feet and waits for some news but all the woman does is asking him to follow her and he immediately cringes because the last time a doctor didn't just give him the news, his mother was dead.

However, he walks after her, and manages to find his voice by the end of the second long hallway.

"Ahm... Is everything ok?"

"Your husband made it through the birth. He's recovering." She answers bluntly. His nerves lessen only a little, because she mentioned only Loki, and something's definitively missing from that sentence. Before he can question her further, though, she stops and points to a white door before going her way and leaving him alone.

He takes a deep breath.

And then another.

He's managed to grasp the doorknob by the fifth deep breath, and he turns it as he lets the sixth out. His eyes go straight to Loki in the middle of the room. Loki, who's cradling a small lump in his arms and looks perfectly contented.

He's going to kill that nurse.

"Took you long enough." Loki smirks as he makes his way to the bed. "What´s wrong?"

"They wouldn't tell me anything. I thought something had happened." He mutters grumpily.

"Ah, that's because I asked her not to tell." Loki's face shifts into a pleased smile and Tony groans.

"Bastard. Why would you do that?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." He looks down to the blanket burrito and Tony remembers this beautiful bastard just gave him another kid. He sits on the bed and extends his arms.

Loki passes him the baby, and uncovers it's face carefully. It's got Loki's eye shape, but they're not green like his, but the exact shade of chocolate brown Tony remembers from his mother. The little thing looks up at him in such stillness that it almost becomes creepy, and he asks.

"So? Is she a Segel or is he an Eric?"

Loki smiles.

"He's a Jarvis."

And he loves him.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


End file.
